Annotations

We write the Rook and Rose novels in a series of shared Google Docs, swapping back and forth multiple times during the course of a scene. Because of this setup, we often leave comments in the margins of the draft. Many of these comments are logistical ones like “check timing” or explaining alterations we’ve made . . . but some are just us getting chatty with each other. We actually leave those in the draft for the entertainment of our editor; now we want to share them with you. Below are a selection of the choicer ones, with the relevant quotation from the book that the comment was attached to.

(Needless to say — but we will say it anyway — here be spoilers. Albeit context-free ones, since the quotations are relatively brief.)

Chapter 1

Clearing his throat, Grey said to Alinka, “Let me get you some wine.”

(Alyc) Grey, to Alinka: Drink?

Alinka, to Grey: God yes.

Why is that Mask-damned woman here?

(Alyc) Don’t we have enough Primordials to deal with?

(altered in the final; original draft had Vargo in the previous scene being flirty in an attempt to distract Letilia) Letilia sighed and patted the chair next to her. “Have a seat, poppet. And tell me all about that Eret Vargo.”

(Alyc) Vargo, looking at Jaime Lannister: The things I do for love

(Marie) Vargo . . . probably wouldn’t shove a kid out a window?

(Alyc) Vargo: I could shove Letilia out a window?

(Marie) oh, he would totally shove her

(Alyc) Alsius: Get the Rook. He likes doing that.

Chapter 2

When [Sedge] looked at Varuni, she gestured to a bridge that led east. “Lead the way.”

(Marie) “So I can enjoy the view.”

Chapter 3

“Mask-damned bow lookout was paid off,” Vargo rasped, raking his own wet hair out of his face. He’d been able to shuck his coat, and the sopping lawn of his shirtsleeves clung to his arms.

(Marie) <rofl> Of course you had to take his coat off again . . .

Chapter 4

Tanaquis had gotten rid of Letilia quite neatly, just as she’d gotten the woman to sit still for an hour the last time they’d met. Maybe I should ask her to take care of that problem.

(Marie) Tanaquis: “Kill her? It’s not my usual mode, but when needs must . . .”

(Alyc) ahahhaahaha

Vargo: “dammit, now I like her, too”

(Tanaquis speaking) “My uncle Bonavaito. We adopted him from House Ciagne when I was ten — much like Donaia’s adopted me.”

(Marie) “When I was nine” — no, that’s a neon sign for Ninat to some of our readers. “When I was eleven” — no, that’s a neon sign for Primordials to some of our readers.

Why can’t I just pick numbers or colors for things without them carrying all this damn symbolism along for the ride???

Chapter 5

Some already circulated through the crowd, recognizable by their full-faced masks. According to Renata, the tradition had its roots in the visored helmets worn by equites in Seteris, which allowed them to contend anonymously in tournaments.

(Marie, comment attached to “According to Renata”) who totally got Alsius to fill her in on this

Rubbing his empty fingers together as though he was pocketing a kiss, the Raven Volto lowered his arm and stepped back to kneel again. Vargo let out a shaky breath and a low curse that nearly had Ren breaking character with laughter, but he gathered himself up enough to bow and kneel as well.

(Marie) Vargo: UNF

Scaperto stood fast enough to scrape his chair back. “And I think I see Mede Bagacci. I’ve been meaning to speak to him about dredging the Lower Bank canals — if you’ll excuse me.”

(Alyc) Scaperto: I would literally rather talk about sewage than sit next to you.

Chapter 6

::Do pay attention so you can give a thorough account when you return,:: Alsius implored Renata as Serrado arrived, a near echo of the instructions Tanaquis was giving her.

(Alyc) Alsius and Tanaquis: If only we could strap a GoPro to her head…

(realizing Ren just met Gabrius Mirscellis) Alsius toppled from her shoulder into her lap.

(Marie) OMG SENPAI!!!1!

Chapter 10

“Your cat clawed me,” [Sedge] said accusingly as he lifted the lid, Clever Natalya springing free and bolting for cover.

(Marie) You know, I don’t think we ever clarify just how Sedge got Clever Natalya after Ren’s identity was revealed. He went to Traementis Manor, but who did he talk to that was cooperative enough to help him corral the con artist’s cat?

My bulletproof headcanon now is that it was Colbrin.

(and this is proof that he does indeed like Ren, lies and all)

(Alyc) Yeah, it was Colbrin.

Who isn’t happy with Ren, but now I headcanon that he knew something was hinky and there was no way she was related to Letilia. But he kept a close eye on her, and she wasn’t stealing… just making everyone’s lives better, so he didn’t poison her wheatabix.

Everyone thinks the murderhound at Donaia’s side is Meatball. They’re wrong. It’s Colbrin.

(Marie) <roflmao> CANON ACCEPTED

(Ren speaking) “If I were [Donaia and Giuna], I wouldn’t listen to a word I say.”

“Doesn’t mean they don’t deserve to hear it,” Vargo said.

(Marie) “My bullshit is your bullshit,” or as it’s phrased in Spanish, “mi caca es tu caca”

[Ren, speaking to Tanaquis] “You can visit me at any time.”

(Alyc) she might regret that offer. Or Grey might…

Chapter 11

“Mirable scitu.”

(Marie) That’s Mirscellis for “fascinating.” 😛

Alsius twitched in indignation. ::Are you implying that Ažerais is on par with the Lumen?::

(Alyc) Never meet your heroes, Alsius…

For the first time, it occurred to Vargo to wonder if that blandness was, in reality, Serrado being a smartass.

(Alyc) Why yes, yes it is

Chapter 12

Ren and Grey had talked about how this meeting might go, about how the support of a legendary enemy of the nobility like the Rook would only corrode her standing.

She wished now that she’d thought to have the same conversation with Vargo.

(Alyc) They’ve had a lot going on, and I suspect this was pillow talk

maybe if Vargo was SLEEPING WITH THEM it wouldn’t be an issue

(Marie) I was about to type, “Vargo: damn, what I wouldn’t give to be with them on that pillow”

“She’s still Traementatis, so Uncle Trinzi can slip her whatever he likes.”

(Alyc) Parma’s only joy these days is getting on Utrinzi’s nerves by calling him Uncle Trinzi and telling him about all the sex she misses having…

and drawing dicks and boobies on all her numinatria homework

(Marie) She used the margins of one of his books to draw a porn flip-cartoon

Grey laid a hand on [Ren’s] right shoulder, warm and comforting.

(Marie) Because I can’t resist the image that Grey is behind her right shoulder, and Vargo behind her left. 😀

Chapter 13

[Vargo] thought for a moment that the creak as he stood up was his knees objecting to all that time on the floor.

(Marie) obvious joke is obvious . . .

Peabody began moving again. Unsure. Help V. Then he hopped in place, as if to underline his words.

(Alyc) Attenborough voice: And here we see the writer engaging in that most savage but natural behavior – laughing over the imagined tears of their readers.

Chapter 14

“I hope he is not like this in bed,” Ryvček said to Ren, startling a laugh from her and making her lose her place.

(Marie) Aaaand that’s how you know it’s the real Ryvcek.

“Then why are you wasting time with me?” she said, stepping out of his path.

(Alyc) Ryvcek is the worst acid-trip mommy ever.

The Mask of Nothing, came Ren’s whisper

(Alyc) Quick, to the batcave! Ren is literally Oracle to his Batman.

Chapter 15

“Fuck?” the feral child said. Her grin widened, like she’d been given a treasure immeasurable. “Fuck!” she shouted, then ran from the room, a shrieking trail of ‘fucks’ bubbling up like foam in her wake.

(Marie) <3 <3 <3 and also yes, this is what children do.

(Alyc) I think Yvieny even knows this word and that she’s not allowed to use it, but she’s totally the sort who’d use this as an excuse and be all ‘But HE said it’ ::innocent look::

“I can’t hear you,” he said in response to the frantic leg-waving that usually accompanied information Alsius considered vital.

(Alyc) Alsius: It’s Alinka Serrado, don’t be an ass!!

Bad enough that Alsius scrambled up his arm to nuzzle against the side of his neck, like the peacock spider equivalent of a squid hug.

(Marie) We can remove this if we have to, but my brain said “don’t call it a bear hug” and then went “SQUID HUG” and maybe it sounds too creepy but dammit I’m leaving it here for y’all to see first

(Alyc) ahahahah. I like it

But when [Grey] opened the door, he found someone else sitting at the table with Alinka, cup of tea in hand.

(Marie) I did not actually ship Koszar with Alinka . . . until just now, because obviously he’s not looking for Grey at Alinka’s house; he’s really there to see her.

With as many leaks as his own boat had, he could hardly condemn another for sinking.

(Marie) The attempt to not use standard cliches is how you wind up with squid hugs.

“Great,” Parma said. “How do Vraszenians get rid of this dala-whatever?”

(Alyc) And suddenly, Parma casting in my head is Kat Dennings

[The zlyzen] lunged at him, all hissing growls and snapping fangs.

(Marie) Had to change my wording, because this was getting a leetle too close to Jabberwocky territory. 😛

(Alyc) I blame you for the five minute dive I just took into the history of the Jabberwocky when I should have been writing…

Chapter 16

Laročja’s words couldn’t wound Ren, and she didn’t seem the sort to pull a knife on someone. If she did, Ren had a shawl full of her own knives to answer with, courtesy of the grandson Laročja had spurned.

(Marie) Bitch, you brought a knife to a shawl fight.

Chapter 17

“I think the bottom one was already here?” Alinka frowned at the stack [of wine crates]. “It has a House Extaquium stamp.”

(Marie) Actual, literal lol from me at realizing you had pulled this out from book one. 😀

(Alyc) Heh. I was like… there’s no way they drank that whole case… cause they’re still alive.

Nencoral had made good on her threat to return to House Fintenus, but Idaglio was already discreetly dabbing at tears

(Alyc) Actually, he’s just allergic, but he’ll never admit it 😛

(Marie) He and Ljunan should form a support group

while Meppe had Clever Natalya in the crook of one arm, making up for their separation with a lavish scratch under her chin.

(Alyc) Awwww! I LOVE MEPPE (and I love that he and CN have adopted one another as their people

(Marie) SMISH MEPPE

he is so totally a cat person

Chapter 19

the open center of the Rotunda held the usual constellation of five desks, and the usual secretaries to direct traffic, looking no more harassed than usual.

(Marie) I officially stan those secretaries, now. Like, they’re always harassed-looking — but working in a makeshift war camp set up in a shopping mall with none of their usual stuff? no big.

(Alyc)They live in Nadezra. They’ve seen some shit.

Chapter 20

After so much time dealing with both versions, Ren could tell the genuine Rook from the false, Fontimi’s old costume and the hood Tess had imbued. Without that, though, she would have never known it was Ryvček under there.

(Alyc) Ryvcek is totally not going to give it back. She’s having fun getting to be the Rook without the identity dissolution.

(Marie) Though it’s harder going without all the magic to help. 🙂

(Alyc) She’s over being the Rook on easy mode. Ryvcek likes a challenge!

The half-dozen people in question were all northerners. Ren recognized Orrucio Amananto among them; he gave her an awkward wave.

(Alyc) I love him unconditionally

With the young man’s back as an unsteady desk, Vargo used a pencil stub to dig a Tricat into the wax of his two-part numinat.

(Alyc) I thought about having this be Grey, but I wanted him to be more active than just being Vargo’s desk. But I did have a moment of ‘When is a raven like a writing desk?’ … ‘When it’s the Rook.’

Only Amananto’s grip on the skirts of Vargo’s coat kept him from staying behind when their boat bucked straight out of the water. Timbers groaned in protest as they landed with an almighty splash: the boat was made for the Dežera’s muddy current, not the swells of the open sea. Vargo almost lost his hold on the numinat. The power churning out of it turned the murky water to yellow foam.

(Marie) Off-label uses for numinatria!

(after Ren suggests a seven-person council for the city) In her pocket, Alsius twitched.

(Marie) Alsius: But — but — that ruins the lovely numerological symbolism of five! Well, I suppose political expedience must take precedence.

(Alyc) Vargo: Sebat. Perfection in imperfection, old man.

Alsius: Ah. I feel so much better. Thank you, my boy.

Once Tess was gone, Grey found Ryvček at the kitchen door, helping the kids improve a booby trap that would swing a wine bottle into the skull of anyone who came through.

(Alyc) The Arkady Bones Home Alone remake we all deserve…

Tanaquis waved a sleeve at him. Now that [Grey] looked, he could tell it had been pulled off, then reattached with stitches so bad they would embarrass even Arkady.

(Marie) If Tanaquis had a stapler, she would have used it.

In my head, this looks like Flora’s attempt to sew a dress by hand in Sleeping Beauty — but fortunately it’s only one sleeve

(Alyc) Tanaquis would have so many hot glue burns

Chapter 21

But if [Giuna] understood correctly how these things worked, there were only a few possible answers. And only one she could accept.

“I’ll take it.”

(Alyc) I will take the ring to Mordor! Though… I do not know the way…

::Aren’t you going to call me ‘Father’ now? It would be more respectful.::

(Alyc) Alsius: Call me ‘daddy’

Vargo: I’m burning you from the register.

(Marie) And here is where I nearly spat tea over my laptop.

(Alyc) She did. I saw it.

Koszar let out a slow, wavering breath. Then inhaled, and let out another. “If Szorsa Laročja knew the truth — djek. The Black Rose, half-Liganti. She might drop dead of apoplexy.”

(Marie) “I could see you drop dead this minute from paralysis of the brain cells and burst into uninhibited applause.” — Dorothy Dunnett, The Game of Kings

[Esmierka] chucked the medallion into the numinat, and the Rook turned to the next in the circle.

(Marie) And here is where the authors inadvertently destroyed Nadežra, because in the original draft they COMPLETELY FUCKING FORGOT ABOUT RYVCEK AND QUINAT. Just went straight onto Sessat, leaving that one untouched.

And it was true, after a fashion: those things aligned with their better urges, rather than their worst failings.

(Alyc, comment attached to “urges”) autocorrect tried to make this ‘burgers’ three times!

[Tanaquis] didn’t even react as he shoved her hand into the flames.

(Alyc) Mevieny: There but for the grace of god…

[context: our original plan for the Night of Hells involved Mevieny losing her hands as well as her eyes]

Chapter 23

Vraszenian tradition named the eldest son after his paternal grandfather, the eldest daughter after her maternal grandmother — the woman that would have been Lenismir’s wife.

(Alyc) This means one of Arenza’s cousins is… also named Arenza 😀 Which is totally fair. We have a John in every g-damned branch of my family. It’s ridiculous.

Chapter 25

“You think Tanaquis had it before that?”

(Alyc) It was Tanaquis all along! (and because that song is so strong in my head, I’m changing this phrasing :D)

Chapter 26

They only wanted him to get off the stage, the sun to set, the wellspring to appear.

(Alyc) Grey: My people. A month from now, our country will have its 500th anniversary…

Larocja: Booo! Booo! Booo!

Ren: Okay, stfu already…

The sheer beauty of it brought tears to Ren’s eyes. None of us are separate. None of us are alone.

(Alyc) Yeah, she be trippin’ balls.

Until they came to the heart. Where Tanaquis stood, a sucking vortex of chaos eating away at the small pocket of stillness.

(Alyc) Primordial Chaos Donuts!

[Tanaquis speaking] “We can make them work together, sometimes, in small ways. If we’re careful. But there’s more. Something underneath that unifies it all, something that holds all those pieces in the palm of its hand, something –”

(Alyc) Tanaquis: I’m THIS CLOSE to understanding the grand unified theory about how weak, strong, and electromagnetic forces are merged into one force at high energies!

The Rook: See? She’s talking complete nonsense

Chapter 27

“Altan Alsius, it has been an honor.”

(Marie) I almost had her be fully formal here. But now is not the time to introduce the readers to the aesthetic atrocity that is him properly being Altan Alsius Acrenix Vargonis.

If Alsius had to leave, at least he’d be safe with Ren’s spectral father.

(Alyc) Really, what I want is the Paradise Lost parody fic with Alsius and Gabrius as Dante and Virgil.

***

Partway through working on this book, Google Docs changed the setup for outlines such that the bold text we used to mark chapters and scenes no longer showed up in the outline, even if we put tag lines after the chapter names. (You have to use actual header formatting now.) Nevertheless, this was tradition, and so we kept it up!

In which Marie puts something amusing here, cause that’s HER job! [Alyc wrote that one; Marie left it untouched]
In which ~~there will be another scene eventually~~ there is another scene now!
In which we get our caper on!!!
In which people have both problems, and plans to deal with them!
In which there is both chivalry and dastardly deeds!
In which we get our woo on!
In which it’s time for the Olympics!
In which Sedge gets to drive some plot!
In which many plots get resolved! Mostly not in the way the protagonists intended!
In which there are aftershocks.
In which we don’t actually have Ren pov.
In which it’s all Ren, all the time.
In which we get our Roman history on! (Sort of.) (Not really.) [Context: Vargo’s approach to his organization is not dissimilar to that of Rome with its allies (socii) on the Italian peninsula. The incident where a bunch of them rebelled against Rome is called the Social War, and that was the shorthand we used for the collapse of Vargo’s organization.]
In which lots of stuff happens, only half of which you see.
In which Vargo is (mostly) out of commission, but other people are busy.
In which there is much talk of family. (What are we, The Fast and the Furious?)
In which there’s some hitchin’ getting done.
In which Ren and Grey go on their honeymoon! . . . with Vargo, Alsius, and a zlyzen along for the ride!
In which this means WAR!!! Or at least a standoff.
In which we throw out 75% of our plan five minutes before we start writing.
In which we kill the plot!
Holy shit, is that plot actually dead?
In which Ren gets some news she originally got in an earlier chapter, but we changed our minds about when she should learn it.
In which the fucking zlyzen come home to roost or something else Marie can put here [Alyc wrote that one, too]
Holy shit, is that plot actually dead? [Context: It’s easier to get our formatting to stay consistent if we copy over the opening bit of the previous Google doc file to the new one — we have to split the book into multiple files to avoid lag — and in this instance, Marie forgot to change the chapter tag . . .]
Where Marie forgot to write anything so Grey’s scene header got dropped.
In which wrapping up feels rather like wrestling a twenty-seven-armed octopus. At least for the writers.

And finally, the short descriptors used in the spreadsheet where we tracked out wordcount and viewpoints . . .

Part One

Chapter One

Giuna comes of age
Letilia and her “daughter”
Mexican stand-off

Chapter Two

A bad morning
Uncursing Letilia
Good morning, Vargo
Andrejek redux
Ninat Hunting
A challenge for a fair maiden

Chapter Three

Rooking up
Meeting with the ziemetse
RIVER PIRATES!!!
Drowning
Rescue
The penny drops

Chapter Four

Patterning Tanaquis
Secret lover
Cinnamon Roll Summit
Palaestra fencing
Rooftop kanina

Chapter Five

Cercel conversation, at last
Giuna gets a girlfriend
Social politics
Decoy danger
Tokens for everybody!
Announcing . . . the numinat!

Chapter Six

Register shenanigans
The fickle gutter cat
Dream trip setup
Guess what *else* is in the dream?
OMG SENPAI!!!

Chapter Seven

Threat level: elevated
Failsafe acquired
Alinka gets the infodump
Faella’s bombshell(s)
Aaaaaand they’re off!
<boot>
Across the finish line

Chapter Eight

Fingers reunion
An unexpected lead
Cutting the Cut Ears loose
Rescuing the Kiralič
Branek’s plan revealed

Chapter Nine

Grey’s past
Third trial begins
The things he does for friendship
Dead Ninat Guy
The nuclear option
Truth will out

Part Two

Chapter Ten

The morning after
Thar she blows
Problems words can’t fix
Home truths at the Gawping Carp
Tanaquis followup

Chapter Eleven

About your grandmother . . .
Oyster Cracker recruitment
Verbal and physical duels
Putting the pieces together
Heyyyy, Mirscellis!

Chapter Twelve

Ren vs. Larocja: Round One
Medallion summit
Hunting soul-bits

Chapter Thirteen

The Social War begins
In which Vargo’s life falls apart
A well is coming to get Timmy!
Alsius. In the gateway. With the medallion.
No need for torture
Prisoner swap
Substandard Rook
That was a mistake

Chapter Fourteen

Aftermath of failure
Fixing prep
Rooks! Rooks! Everywhere you look!

Chapter Fifteen

Paging Dr. Alinka
He en’t cursed
Koszar’s request
There’s a hole in the bucket, dear Vargo
A visit from Iascat and Parma
The Ordeal of the Dream

Chapter Sixteen

Family
Moar family
Mistress Letilia
You say you want a revolution

Chapter Seventeen

Don’t mind me bleeding here
A wedding present
Complicated feels
Caught between a rock and a hard place
A surprise proposal
The Wedding
Brotherhood

Chapter Eighteen

Follow that zlyzen!
So he *is* cursed
Ghost town
Look, Ren — hands!!!
Following bloodcrumbs
Oh hey that explains it
All the plots are revealed! (Mostly.)

Part Three

Chapter Nineteen

The rebellion begins
Cinquerat chaos
Onto the Old Island
Hiring help
Trio returns

Chapter Twenty

What’d I Miss?
Going off half-cocked
Escape from Old Island
Private meeting with Koszar
Let me in, let me in!

Chapter Twenty-One

I will take the ring to Mordor!
A game of telephone
Mask handoff
The Black Rose unmasked
Operation: Fireworks
Can you make a body?
Ding, dong, the plot is dead!

Chapter Twenty-Two

Hostage negotiations
Difficult homecomings
The threads are cut
There’s a double meaning in that
More bad parents

Chapter Twenty-Three

Surprise! Granddaughter!
Family Twister
Varuni reconciliation
Ghost dad
Burn the witch(‘s cards)!

Chapter Twenty-Four

Treaty agreement
Rehearsal ceremony
Here, zlyzen zlyzen zlyzen . . .
You said you wanted them back!

Chapter Twenty-Five

Knots, pt. 1
Knots, pt. 2
Always boom tomorrow
Zlatsa makes her move
Evidence of insanity
The penny drops

Chapter Twenty-Six

Introducing . . .the Ižranyi!
The Great Dream begins
Is now a bad time?
Oops, too late
Insanity 1
Insanity 2
Insanity 3
Out of insanity 1
Out of insanity 2
Out of insanity 3
Into the wellspring
Understanding

Chapter Twenty-Seven

In the labyrinth
Fatherly farewells
Sibling reunion
Visiting the prisoner
Tanaquis’ fate
Vargonis
The Ižranyi Volavka

Epilogue

At the Gawping Carp

A collaboration between Marie Brennan and Alyc Helms